My girl has been sick. More ear infections coupled with more allergies... throw in another asthma flare-up and it resulted in a small pharmacy on the kitchen counter. She was on Prednizone for the week (reallllly? Prednizone for an already anxious kid...I won't even begin to describe the chaos that ensued. Just picture her opening the front door and frantically chucking her toys like an ultimate frisbee player onto the sidewalk while belly laughing) and she is scheduled for another ear tube surgery next week. The doc confirmed that she's not hearing well--I've been noticing that she has been dropping speech sounds that she used to make consistently--too much ear nonsense going on. And so, Noemi and I have been busy picking up the toys from the sidewalk...
Today was hair day! Watching her new Betty Boop DVD while I coiled her hair. You can't see the ocean of products because they are well out of her reach.Last week marked 18 months that Noemi has been home. That's 18 months of me washing, conditioning, deep conditioning, finger-detangling, product slathering, primping, experimenting with styles, attempting to fix failed attempts at styles and more primping her hair. It's been an adventure for this white mamma with straight, fine hair. Up until this point I have relied on the kind advise of strangers in the aisles of Sally's, pouring through websites on natural African hair and anonymously stalking Youtube videos to learn how to best care for Noemi's beautiful curls. I've found a few styles that suit Noemi's hair-type and her intolerance for sitting for long periods of time (and mine) and I've stuck with them.
Hair is a funny thing. It's so public. I can hide the fact that I skipped Noemi's bath the night before or that I forgot to turn on the dishwasher so, hey, her cruddy sippy cup was rinsed rather than washed. But you can't hide hair. Unless you're a white girl, and then you do the ponytail or throw on a hat. Easy-peesy. But with Noemi if I am running late getting out the door I'd sooner skip brushing her teeth than fixing her hair. Her hair is to be respected. Plain and simple.
I have been graciously told what I should or shouldn't be doing with Noemi's hair; and I've realized these comments are conflicting as people have strong personal opinions about hair. Such comments have made me feel like I should doubt my abilities to manage her hair, simply because we are different races. But that's a load of bunk. Sure, it's been tricky to learn something new, and it is my responsibility to figure out how to care for her hair well, but c'mon, I'm capable. My out-of-touch WASPy grandmother acts like it must be an impossible feat to care for Noemi's hair. Oh my. It's just hair, Oma. Be not afraid. Careful...but not afraid. This is not nuclear physics.
My time in the shadows is over. I was tired of wondering if I was truly caring for her hair well. It was due time for me to consult a professional. Noemi's not nearly as sensory defensive now, and her ability to sit still has improved to being mildly better than that of a fly, so I figured she might be ready for someone else to fiddle with her curls.
Noemi recently took her first steps into a salon and allowed the stylist to do the Disco on her hair. She was such a champ, albeit a nervous champ. But in the end, she emerged with a fresh wash, trim and style and, most importantly, the candy necklace I stash in my purse for emergencies. I walked out of Jas It Up! with renewed confidence as a mother from being told that I am doing a great job keeping her hair healthy. I was concerned that she had breakage around her hair line, but the shorter hair is just baby hair yet to have grown in, so big sigh of relief.
Noemi just loved the stylist and was so proud of herself (Mommy, I be brave!). And I was extraordinarily proud of her. My typically chatty gal didn't open her mouth once while in that chair; but it was all she talked about for days after the appointment. I know we'll be back.The stylist's one suggestion? To purchase a silk sleep cap for Noemi to preserve her styles and help reduce drying out/breakage while she sleeps. Done. I had just ordered one weeks before from Pretty AnntoiNet's. Noemi was thrilled to pic out the color bow online and then watch it show up in her mailbox a few days later. She asks to wear it most every night--couldn't be any cuter.
And so, I have officially crossed over into confident I-can-manage-my-child's-hair-just-fine-and-need-not-be-worried-in-public-or-have-a-complex-that-I-may-be-doing-something-wrong zone. Still seeking help, still in trial-and-error mode, but perfectly capable. No reason to doubt myself anymore.Now wasn't that easy?
