“I will stand at my watchpost,and station myself on the rampart;
I will keep watch to see what he will say to me,
and what he will answer concerning my compliant.
Then the Lord answered me and said:
Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets so that the runner may read it.
For there is still a vision for the appointed time;
it speaks of the end and does not lie.
If it seems to tarry, wait for it;
it will surely come, it will not delay.”
Habakkuk 2: 1-3, NRSV
I am a planner. I read the grocery circular in the newspaper each week and plan meals accordingly. I buy clothes off-season and put them away. I carry measurements of each room in my purse in case I find that perfect piece of furniture. Dental floss can be found in my car in the event of a stubborn piece of oregano. I am a planner. Despite my best efforts to plan the expansion of our family, my plan went awry. How humbling. The greatest lesson I am learning from this experience is that God wants me to let go of the plan and focus on the vision. My plan may have been botched, but my vision of ultimately becoming a mother is being revealed as I write. “Let go of the plan, planner girl,” God tells me. Why do I ever begin to doubt that God is working out the details? I read Habakkuk over and over again and find peace in the perplexity. He knows my heart’s desire…it will surely come, it will not delay. There is soft joy that comes with knowing this and (attempting to) let go of planner girl. Just as long as I still get to make my grocery lists.
Image of Gian Lorenzo Bernini's "Habakkuk and the Angel"
