Wowzers. My last post elicited a ton of responses. I am comforted to have received a slew of supportive emails from mothers, many of whom I have never met. Apparently, adoptive parents and parents of children with attachment needs alike have experienced the same sleep bucking I described; and the emotional crazies that result from it are completely normal. Whew. So I’m not nuts. Many of you wrote to me, expressing how alone you felt when your child reacted this angrily and erratically to sleep and how over stimulation seemed to be at the root as well. I am glad that we are not alone and I commend these mammas for sticking through the crazies. Thank you all sincerely for your kind words and sharing your personal experiences with me.
What I have learned from this past week is that a lot of people want to know “why” our children are reacting as they are and want simple answers to explain it (well—maybe she’s cold, maybe her ears hurt again, maybe…). But we parents don’t really need answers to do what is right. As a new parent all I can say is that I have NO IDEA exactly which terrible variable (or combination thereof) is affecting her at the moment, but what I do know is that Noemi needs a calm mommy who gives her consistent, loving reactions. And that is exactly what I have been trying to do.
The last two days have been our best yet. Yikes--I hope I am not jinxing myself. Friday was good, but yesterday and today were rock-steady. I have had a happy, well- rested kid who took two one-and-a-half hour naps each day and smiled throughout the rest of the day. Yes, she still needed a lot of help falling asleep and woke repeatedly throughout the night, but those wakings consisted of crying and some punchy silliness thrown in-- not thrashing, hitting and screaming. I found myself enjoying the time spent lulling Noemi back to sleep last night from 2:50-4:40. She (eventually) calmly fell asleep on me in the rocking chair and it felt like sweet, loving success. Was I wiped? No doubt. But it was a satisfied tired, an I just connected with my daughter in a really good way tired. I’ll take that.
