Comments regarding the adoption that have left me scratching my head in wonderment:
• Referring to my child as being “ordered” from Ethiopia or the “inventory” that exists there.
• Reminding me that I am getting "older" and that I'd better get moving on the adoption. (Right.)
• Asking me if I don’t have my “own” children because I have a problem with my ovaries. (No, but thank you very much for the vote of confidence, pubescent grocery bagger boy.)
• Telling me that I’ll love Noemi just as if she were my own. (Really, is she not my own? Does it appear that I don’t love her?)
• Asking me “how much did she cost?” (Eww. We’re not buying babies, folks.)
• Telling me not to worry about adopting a sibling for Noemi because “those people” have a lot of babies. (I didn’t even know how to respond to that one.)
• Asking me why I didn’t want to adopt an American baby. (Hmmmm…Why wouldn’t I want to adopt and Ethiopian baby?)
• On that same note, my grandmother asked me if we checked into adopting from England, Scotland or Wales first. (I always choose the vanilla and chocolate twist soft serve. How about you, grandmum?)
• Telling me that it’s such a shame that I am missing out on so much while Noemi grows up on the other side of the world without me. You know, the first time she rolls over, sits up, cuts a tooth, crawls… (Gee...thanks.)
• Asking me why I would ever want to adopt a baby, cause that’s just asking for other people’s problems. (Dugh, silly me, what was I thinking?)
• Referring to a “two for one deal” when asking if we could get a referral for twins.
• Telling me to have my husband stay out of the hot tub for a while, that it will help us be able to conceive a baby. Apparently, this particular method worked wonders for this man and his wife. (What a gem.)
And the list goes on. This firestorm of dim-wittedness is likely only going to increase. Have mercy.
I’m willing to give up the coveted Golden Donkey Award for the person who can add a top-notch head scratcher to this list. I’m sure you adoptive families out there have some good ones to add…anyone??? Just make sure to keep it clean, please.
17 comments:
Oh, my goodnes lol... I have to copy and use your idea. My most recent was "You know your kids (our bio's) will have to be more sensitive to color."-- Yes, and isn't that a good thing??? ugh people.
You seriously just have to laugh at the ignorance.
i was cracking up at your list b/c we have some of those too. How bout this one the parent of one of my students said, "Well it's good that you're adopting first because you won't be able to love an adopted child like your "own" child because there are no hormone surges from giving birth. If you already had your "own" you would know what it was like and wouldn't give the adopted baby as much love." Or this one, "there are lots of babies in Indiana that need to be adopted." Then there's us biting our tongue wanting to say, "yes, you're right. there are a lot of african american babies that need to be adopted in Indiana," (a.k.a. there are white babies here that need to be adopted).
oh wait a few more: my sister's little boy is from guatemala and was adopted as an infant. one adult asked if she would have to learn spanish in order to communicate with her son. another person asked what kind of food he would eat if she didn't know how to cook "his kind of food." and another lady said he could grow up and be sent as a missionary to "his people."
oh yeah, the infamous, "you're just trying to be like Brad and Angelina."
Telling me that Mekonen might grow up and play in the NBA (Because he has dark skin?!).
Or that Mekonen might grow up and be a long-distance runner for "his own people" in the Summer Olympics!
people like to offer suggestions of nicknames we can call our son, as if we are looking for a way out of his name. when we tell them his name they ask if he "came with that name." we said it is his birth name and we love it and it's part of his story, so we decided to keep it as his first name they go on to say, "well, you can always call him _____" and fill in the blank with about 5 really weird nicknames.
(sorry we took over the comment section of your blog). haha.
Oh, these are SO FUNNY! Donovan thinks you should get the Golden Donkey Award for the long distance runner comment. And we get the Brad and Angelina comment all the time, too. I once had a stranger say to me, "Oh, you think you're Madonna do you?" when she heard I was adopting from Ethiopia.
So glad we can laugh at all of this!!!
I love it! So therapeutic!
Along with your comment about "Have we considered adopting an American baby" We always get, "Have we considered another country?" You know - we just jumped into this blindly, for no reason at all and never thought of that!
And, I always love all the stories about how "a couple they know got pregnant the moment they adopted." (since that's the implied better option of the two)
Thanks for keeping me sane!
My grandmohter thinks it's neat to call a cross-culturial family "The United Nations". Every. Single. Time she talks about adoption.
sorry...had to edit my original post...typos!
we haven't gotten anything weird...yet. even though we get funny looks/comments from having 3 bio children.
a friend of ours that adopted from china had a waitress ask them if their daughter was "one of those kids that you pay for every month"...like a compassion international child or something! she had to bite her tongue, since all of their kids (including their new daughter) were at the table.
dim-witted doesn't begin to describe some people!
there should be a book published with all of these stories...keep your eyes rolling for hours!
You guys are awesome! Glad you are keeping your sense of humor. When I told someone we were thinking of adopting, I was told that adopting is a 'public service' and something people should only do if you are not able to have a child of your own. I'm glad that person will never adopt. Too bad people like that can still procreate.
These are hysterical! Truely there are times that I really can't stand people, and living in a city over over 3 million causes that feeling a lot.
I have totally gotten the Brad and Angelina thing, and I get the "why don't you adopt American kids". For the most part I have been really lucky and have not encounter too many "special"people. I am sure that will change though when my babe is on my hip and we are strolling through the grocery store.
Jon and Rachael and Donovan and Julie, you seem to be blessed with an over abundance of "special" people. Wow!
This subject tends to be pretty heavy, it is nice to be able to laugh about this stuff:)
Hi, I just stumbled on your blog from the AAI Yahoo group. I am living in Tanzania. I cannot tell you the number of Tanzanian women who come up to me and my two adopted African babies and ask them if they are ok, and if they would like to go away with them (the woman speaking). There seems to be a great sense of worry for my children. As adoption is not common here, there are a lot of myths that white people are adopting african babies to keep them as slaves etc. It's a hard one to keep a sense of humor about, but I try to laugh it off while moving quickly away (in case they decide to try to grab my children...I just envision some weird sort of tug of war). I really enjoyed this post...excellent to be able to keep a sense of humor. People do say some strange things. ;-)
Wow...it's amazing to me how inappropriate people can be sometimes. Chad and I have gotten a lot of comments from random people but the worst have actually come from my mom. The other day I got news that I'm going to Kenya in November with my job and I called my mom to tell her the good news. I said..."Mom, I have good news!" and she said..."What, you're pregnant?" AMAZING!! All I could say was "Actually mom, we're taking precautions against that because we already have a baby on the way."!!! Oh and on the 4th of July, my cousin came to my mom's house with her new baby and in front of all of our family while gushing over my cousin's baby, my mom says "Candy, why don't you and Chad go home right now and try to make one of these!". I love my mom, but sadly she just doesn't get it. Another time I was telling her about how it's really important to us that we keep our baby's culture alive as much as we can for him/her and how I really want to learn to cook Ethiopian food so he can have it at home. She told me that once he has American food, he probably won't want to eat Ethiopian food. (She's never eaten Ethiopian food and doesn't realize how GOOD it is!!) Oh mom, what would I do without ya!
Oh man...I forgot the best comment my mom made. We were all at my sister's house and we were talking about the adoption and we were showing them some of the beautiful AAI snapfish photos. I actually like it when my mom asks about our adoption because it gives me an opportunity to set her straight on a lot of issues. Well, this particular night she asked "Will your child know he's black? And, will you tell him he's adopted?". Um...wow...I totally thought she was joking, but when I turned to look at her she was dead serious. So, I stifled my snicker and said, "Mom, we plan to be very open about our child's culture, race, heritage, and the fact that he is adopted." I really don't know if I say the right things back to her because her questions just catch me so off guard most of the time, but I try! My husband and my sister and her husband were laughing at that one for quite a long time!! I'm trying to have a sense of humor about all of this because if I don't and I really stop to think about it, it makes me so sad!! But in my mom's defense, she did tell me that she saw a "little black baby" at the pool and tried to picture herself holding him and calling him her grandson and she said she could definitely do that. So, that's good, right? :)
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