Brushing With Luna Bars Again

It is not uncommon for Addis Ababa to have “tricky” power services that are unpredictable and shut off without warning, sometimes remaining off for days. Recently Ethiopia has begun scheduling planned power outages country wide as a way of preserving electricity. Caregivers at Wanna and Layla House have had the challenge of caring for babies without power, which means not only no electricity but also no water. For this reason, AAI has been raising money for a generator. AAI posted an explanation at the guesthouse where adoptive families often stay so that families are prepared to be without the amenities we take for granted here in the US. The post reads as follows:

“Around the end of February power rationing was started again in Ethiopia. Power rationing is done by the Ethiopian government to meet the energy demands of the country. Due to a shortage of power, the electricity is turned off to save energy. Power rationing happens throughout the entire country. In Addis Ababa and other large cities the power is turned off in a grid like pattern so that different areas of the town loose power on different days. In small towns and villages the power can be turned off to the entire town for the whole day. Currently the power is turned off from 7AM until 6PM every three to four days. This will last until late June, but sometimes continues through part of the rainy season. As the months pass the length of time the power is kept off often increases from 6PM to as late as 10PM. There is no power rationing schedule available so plan accordingly, it simply turns off without warning. Most businesses in the country cannot afford a generator so power rationing affects all but the very elite in the country. Even large factories and hotels are not exempt from the power rationing. Many companies, factories and restaurants suffer great financial loss due to the frequent loss of power and the interruption of their work.”

Looks like we’ll be packing a flashlight with extra batteries along with a comprehensive toiletry list in case we go without water for a while. Let's see...we've done this before...
• baby powder and serious deodorant, check
• mint gum, mouthwash and Crest Brush Strips, check
• Lemon Zest Luna bars for breakfast (best for combating morning breath), check
• baby wipes (for baby and us), check
• bobby pins and hair ties, check
• antibacterial wipes/gel, check
• extra cotton undies, check
• sense of humor and an eye on the big picture, check

Plumpin' Up Some Babies

Many of you have asked about the malnourished babies at Wanna House and what they are being fed to help them grow. AAI has found that Costco brand formula works best for the majority of babies and that it is one of the most affordable ways to provide nutrition due to the formula shortage in Ethiopia. When we travel, we will lug at least a suitcase of formula to help stock their shelves (giddy up, Costco)!

In addition, AAI recently began using a high protein nutritional supplement called Plumpynut to feed the babies and toddlers who are malnourished. It is made of peanut paste, sugar and powdered milk and it is chuck full of vitamins and minerals.  Surprisingly, peanut allergies that many children experience in industrialized countries are not an issue for children in the developing world.  They have found that the babies LOVE it and (even better) that it is hugely successful in plumping up those babies. It has received much attention by the medical community for its affordability, transportability (no water or refrigeration is needed) and effectiveness in providing life-saving nutrition to children who need it most. If every hungry baby in the world had Plumpynut...???  

I attached a link to an 11-minute segment from 60 Minutes that was aired in the fall of 2007. The chief nutritionist from Doctors Without Borders discusses Plumpynut and how it is being used in developing countries. Watch and be friggin' amazed.

Our Slam-Dunk Family

I buckled and called AAI the other day. It seems that the “top of the list” thing that another staff member mentioned back in January that got my heart all aflutter actually referred to the top 20 or so people waiting for babies from Ethiopia. Hmmmm…. that is why we haven’t heard anything. We are currently "third" on this ever-changing list, but the other people above us have slightly different requests, so it could be anytime—a relative “soon.” There are numerous babies in the orphanage who are in the process of going through medical exams so that medical reports included with referrals are accurate. Quite a few babies came into AAI’s care very sick and malnourished; and AAI is working to get the babies stronger before referring them.

We have since learned through follow-up emails with AAI that many people submitted Dossiers to Ethiopia around the same time as us and that the wait for “August” folks (that's us) has been especially long. To compound this, some who submitted Dossiers before us requesting toddlers or siblings have changed their minds and are now requesting infants. sigh. So, I don’t know exactly what this means for D and me, but it at least satisfies the “why” behind the mystery wait. It reminds us how ever-changing the referral process is. Frankly, Donovan and I have never been hung up on the idea of a position in line because we know and respect that this whole thing is about making families more than referring babies in a particular order and, for this reason, we have tremendous faith in our agency. They’ve proven to be trustworthy of making really slam-dunk families. Ours is coming…

Tasting the Ashes

It was only a few weeks ago when those ashes were marked on my forehead. A swift stroke of the thumb across and then down formed a faint and smudgy cross. I was happy when I got home on the evening of Ash Wednesday and discovered that the ashes went into my hairline…I had to make extra effort to scrub them away when washing my face. Extra effort to scrub away the ashes. Jesus had to make extra effort to scrub away his own ashes when he went into the desert to pray. It can be argued that Jesus became the man he was meant to be during that time; that his 40 days in a barren land was absolute preparation. He emerged stronger and with a clear focus. This lenten season, the father has invited me to consider my own wilderness experience and the wilderness of our baby and his/her birth family. There are many ways for me to fast, consider my focus and taste temptation while sitting in my own ashes. Sitting in these ashes long enough to appreciate the journey into barren land before scrubbing them away with intention is precisely what I am being asked to do.

Some of you are familiar with the time Donovan and I spent in the Sahara Desert a few years ago (what were we thinking???). What started out as an adventure quickly turned unnerving when the winds picked up and we realized the sky had turned dark--pitch dark--and there was not a star in the night sky to guide us on our camels. It felt like we were going in circles, but who knows, we couldn’t see our hands in front of our faces. We had to trust the two young men leading us. I’ve never experienced such literal darkness. Also, I have never been so worried for my physical being as when my already loose joints began shifting left and right on that jolty camel’s back. In between telling Donovan to stop repeatedly asking me if I was OK (such a sweet husband—what would I do without him?), I reciteded I Peter 5:10 over and over again in my head. I was begging God to literally hold me together--and He did. Eventually we reached “camp” and passed out under the night sky. We later woke to a sea of stars these eyes had never before witnessed. In that moment, it was all worth the journey. Our ashes in that desert were hot, dirty, thirsty, sore and exhausted but we were witnesses to God’s glory. I emerged physically shot, but better connected to my maker.

How will I emerge from this season? Right now, I am on that stinky camel in the desert, praying for God to hold me together. Right now, so is the family who is losing its son/daughter. So, too, is the baby being orphaned. I can taste the ashes. It seems that God may be asking me to sit just a little bit longer with the darkness. He’s not asking me to hide from it or pretend that it isn’t dark—God’s asking me to stay for now. Nope, I won’t scrub those ashes off just yet. I’ll hang out in this lenten wilderness, knowing that our stars are the same stars that shine on Ethiopia and that something of glory is about to be revealed. God’s got a lot more work to do in my life.

Mister Rogers Goes Down

Ever been sucker-punched? You know, when you are already feeling blue, have been praying for grace and strength all morning and then you are hit in the gut with something unexpected? Sometimes it’s a conversation that prompts nausea—actual physical nausea— it feels cruel and confusion rushes in. All you can do is attempt to finish the interaction with a smile so as not to be misunderstood as being rude; but you know that controlling those primal tears is out of the question. You can only smile for so long before you have to pleasantly excuse yourself, find a door to close and fall into the fetal position, fists to the floor. It’s the weariness of holding it together that is so exhausting; and when that surprise sucker-punch comes not even a calm and collected Mister Rogers could hold back the tears. 

This is my way of saying that I’m not trying to be rude to you or your baby. My changing the subject or walking away is merely self-preservation. It’s like a person who hasn’t eaten in a week being forced to watch a circle of friends nibble on Big Macs—at some point isn’t it acceptable to leave McDonalds without feeling like you’re being inappropriate? OK, bad example, but you get the point.

It’s not that I’m not happy for you—it’s that the hunger pangs are so deep. Working in Early Intervention certainly makes me more susceptible than the average waiting adoptive mother to the exposure of “baby” conversations. Some days I just want to work at Hot Topic or sell pickup trucks…anything far away from the non-stop subject of babies and children. But being with and discussing young children is what makes me tick, which is precisely why it is so hard to not wear a member’s jacket.

I share this not to evoke pity (please—there’s nothing worse than pity) or to ask you to avoid talking to me about things that are exciting and important to you (duh). I share this A) to be honest and B) to evoke a sense of understanding that I might not always be consistently enthusiastic... because some days I am a little more fragile than others. My reality is that I walk through most moments of my day genuinely very happy and content that God has me exactly where I am supposed to be. But today was a crummy day and this time around I just don’t want to go shopping for clothes for your baby with you, that’s all.

Update Time Again

Our agency has been wonderful with keeping us up-to-date on the goings-on in Addis.  We receive monthly newsletters and we are also part of a yahoo group for families who are adopting or who have adopted through  AAI from Ethiopia. Though I have only posted on it once myself, updates are typically sent twice daily and I read them obsessively.  It's been a tremendous support to know that families all over the country are paddling the same boat. AAI staff regularly post answers to questions that are posed by members, so my questions are often directly answered without me even having to ask them.  I feel fortunate to be connected with such pro-active families (what an asset) and an agency that is tremendously conscious, down-to-earth and communicative.  

As far as the orphanage in Addis goes...we learned that AAI hired 22 additional staff to help care for all of the babies (feeding, changing, rocking, doing laundry and the like).  Due to the recent surge of babies being cared for, AAI is now going through 6-8 cases of baby formula a week. Adoptive families have been taking suitcases full of formula to help offset the cost, especially given the formula shortage that Ethiopia has been experiencing.  They have also hired an additional doctor and two nurses to care for the increasingly fragile babies that are coming into AAI's care and to help complete medical reports needed before referrals can be made. Additionally, we were happy to hear that a second judge was hired to (hopefully) get waiting babies moved through court with greater success.  

Donovan and I feel assured that our baby is receiving abundant love and care. We have such appreciation for committed AAI staff and we feel like we are becoming part of a greater family. Thanks for your continued prayers for our baby and his/her first family, for the conditions in Ethiopia caused by the famine, for the staff in the orphanage doing the hands-on work and for the Ethiopian officials who are currently processing our baby's paperwork.  It will soon be time...

Goodbye to Planner Girl (In Part)

“I will stand at my watchpost,
and station myself on the rampart;
I will keep watch to see what he will say to me,
and what he will answer concerning my compliant.
Then the Lord answered me and said:
Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets so that the runner may read it.
For there is still a vision for the appointed time;
it speaks of the end and does not lie.
If it seems to tarry, wait for it;
it will surely come, it will not delay.”
Habakkuk 2: 1-3, NRSV

I am a planner. I read the grocery circular in the newspaper each week and plan meals accordingly. I buy clothes off-season and put them away. I carry measurements of each room in my purse in case I find that perfect piece of furniture. Dental floss can be found in my car in the event of a stubborn piece of oregano. I am a planner. Despite my best efforts to plan the expansion of our family, my plan went awry. How humbling. The greatest lesson I am learning from this experience is that God wants me to let go of the plan and focus on the vision. My plan may have been botched, but my vision of ultimately becoming a mother is being revealed as I write. “Let go of the plan, planner girl,” God tells me. Why do I ever begin to doubt that God is working out the details? I read Habakkuk over and over again and find peace in the perplexity. He knows my heart’s desire…it will surely come, it will not delay. There is soft joy that comes with knowing this and (attempting to) let go of planner girl.  Just as long as I still get to make my grocery lists.

Image of Gian Lorenzo Bernini's "Habakkuk and the Angel"