Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Operation GetOuttaDodge


Just a little bit o happy

Operation: Successful

We stayed in Deerfield Beach, Florida for (thanks to the great ice storm of 2011) 9 glorious days. I say glorious because frankly, they were the best 9 days we have had as a family in (quite possibly) ever.

Donovan and I were fully prepared for Noemi to feel anxious by the change of routine, but she proved us wrong. I'm not sure what made the difference for Noemi. That little comfort switch in her head flipped within a few days of us going and has been on since. We've had wonderful periods before, but each time they feel more complete and our overall hope increases. And the sunshine didn't hurt any of us, either.

Our 4 suitcases were chuck full of half of the crap in our house. Included were her favorite toys, books...you name it...as well as all of her bedding in an effort to recreate Noemi's smells-like-home sleep space. Schlepping the obnoxiousness of all that loot through the airport was a bit embarrassing (we only took 3 suitcases to Ethiopia), but worth it. After the first few nights she slept well and even came into bed with us to sleep and snuggle. Snuggle? Whhhhat? And in the morning I would wake up to a little nose in my face happily saying, "Morning, Mommy! Howbout beach?"

Another happy choice? The small apartment we rented half of a block from the beach. We went to the grocery store so that we could eat in, keeping routines with familiar foods. With being so close to the beach we walked back and forth for naps, making the little space our constant touch-down pad. Noemi obviously felt very at home there, but aptly understood it was temporary. Any time I referred to it as home she promptly corrected me, "No Mommy, not home. Hotel."
More than anything else, I wonder if the low stimulation, uninterrupted Mommy and Daddy time was just what Noemi needed. No phone calls, no errands, no visits from family and friends, no leaving the house for work...just play, play, play with us. She had both of us all to herself. She didn't know anyone else around, so she trusted us as hers. There were few triggers of panic--and each time she recovered before it switched into epic, no-return mode. She allowed us to consistently be her parents without fearing and challenging it. I didn't need to say things like, "It's OK for Mommy to hug you-- that's what Mommies do with their little girls" the way we have been doing for months. We could feel that she was trusting us at a deeper level. It's like she has a new understanding of membership in our lives. No lines blurred--we are family--she is ours and we are hers.

"Look, Daddy, Look!" She begged us to watch her dance. And hop down the steps. And jump in the water. And swim. And throw her body into sand castles. And spin. And fly like a birdie. And, and, and...just as long as we didn't stop watching her. And we were happy to do so.The constant water time sure was therapeutic. Between the ocean and the pool at the "hotel," Noemi was wet for a solid 50% of our trip--that's her kinda vacation. Our little fish has been asking to go to the beach since arriving home. Sorry, baby, It'll be a few more months until the Jersey shore warms up enough to show it our bathing suits.
sporting her "hip hops"

Noemi was only sometimes bossy with her new beach friend, Anna.

Digging "pools" in the sand--and "decorating" with shells--a girl of detail.


Noemi loved that blow-up boat. Possibly the best $6 we ever spent.

I kept our calendar empty for the days after homecoming...buffer days. Necessary? Nope. The coming-down crash never came. Instead she settled right into our routines at home all while maintaining her playful and affectionate mood. It's been days...and we're still holding strong.

Here is where I let out my deep, satisfied, happy sigh and thank the good Lord for the many blessings of this trip--mainly, allowing my bones to warm up--and the many blessings of my husband and daughter. Do I hear an Amen?

beach stance, yo


11 comments:

barb_aloot said...

AMEN! Sounds sooo wonderful. Yay! Here's hoping all that relaxing fun really flipped a switch for N. And how cute are you all?!! Awww!

ctf said...

That. is. WONDERFUL!!!!

Catiejoyce said...

PRAISE the LORD for such a wonderful trip and time with YOUR daughter and HER parents!!!! I LOVE it! It makes me just want to go on vacation! I am so happy for you and how the trip helped bring you sunshine on your bodies and in your hearts!!!

MH said...

That's just it isn't it. The sand. The sun. The water. The devotion to walking and playing and serious hanging out.
For us too, I think it's really cemented that feeling of family to leave all the other stuff that defines you as a unit and have to hang on to each other through airports and new sleeping arrangements and interactions.
And that balance of keeping just enough that's familiar without dragging all your possessions along. Again, letting go of the stuff that has been defining you and your routines good or bad.
What an opportunity to redefine. Family.
Oh, and did I say how happy I am for you and for Donovan. Yippee kayay.

Jackie Johnson said...

AMEN!!! Know that there is a spare condo here in Jacksonville at your disposal anytime you'd like. Price is right (if you know what I mean) And the sun is usually shining.

Happy Dance for you!

Anonymous said...

Amen!

I love the picture of you and Donovan, love it!

~Lisa

jamiebentley said...

AMEN! One day last week, Nora went upstairs to her room, put on her bathing suit, and came downstairs to show me. She kept it on all day (except for nap time, since she insists on wearing jammies for naps...anal much?). All I could think was, "I WANT TO GO WHERE THE WITMERS ARE!!!!"

Seriously, I'm about ready to follow suit. Leave all the gadgets and chores and projects behind and just. have. FUN! We have yet to take a real family vacation, and I'm beyond ready.

PS. My "word verification" is "sunsi," which I believe is a combination of Sun + Sosi :)

Emily B. said...

awww- I love that pic of you with S all snuggled in a towel. So sweet!

I'm SUPER glad the "extended" (ahem...) trip went so well. A little extra vitamin D never hurt anyone, eh?

And hopefully it's the beginning to an even stronger bond between everyone in your family. Fingers crossed to keeping that switch turned on! Amazing! :)

Unknown said...

Who is the supermodel in the towel pic with Sosi???? OMG -- it is YOU, rested, bronzed and BEAUTIFUL!! And Sosi's happy, happy eyes in every single photo. WOWZA. You guys might need to put a pool in ur backyard and invite us out every weekend so Taki can scope out Sosi in her tankini! Want to go to Please Touch Museum with us next week? Mon, Wed. or Friday morning????

L said...

Glad to hear it worked out.

And don't correct the "hip hops" that's precious!! My son called his backpack his "packpack" for the longest time, we loved it so and never corrected it. Eventually he figured it out before too much embarrassment!!

Linda said...

Loved, loved your post. What a beautiful family vacation with some lasting benefits. I laughed when I read about your love of the sun and our recent decision to move to MA where there is tons of snow. But, I love the beach too! Take care!