Back In the Saddle

I return to work tomorrow. If you had asked me about this a few weeks ago I would have teared up (ummm, and really I did); but I now believe the change is gonna do me some good. I love my job. I just feel a sense of disbelief that three months have passed. I do feel that the time was spent wisely—doing exactly what I was home to do—care for Noemi. I guess I just feel like the time slipped by without us getting to do as many of the casual “enjoyable” things as I had hoped. When I look back this has been an extraordinarily stressful, though magical, three months. Sure, the adjustment of just becoming a parent is nuts; but the extra junk heaped on felt like almost too much at times. I know in my heart that my time with Noemi was wisely spent. Getting her healthy (still working on some mystery rashes/sickness and ear infections) and teaching her that she is loved were my priorities. And that is precisely what I did. I suppose the little fantasies that I had in my head of spending more time with friends and family doing parent-like things like play dates, trolling around our farmers' market or going to pumpkin patches were just that—little unicorn and rainbow fairy tale fantasies. We did some of that, just not as much as I had hoped.

I have a feeling that I am going to look back on this period of life and realize that I was living an out-of-body experience. I suppose most new parents would say the same. But I have so many happy moments to hold on to; moments that I will always cherish as "the beginning" for our rookie family. I've learned that Noemi is strong, resilient, funny, eager, bossy, curious, joyful, engaging and persistent. Above all else, I've learned that she is just like her momma in many ways. When I was in Kindergarten my teacher told my mother that I would never be found at the back of the line in life. It is safe to say that Noemi takes after her momma in this respect. And so, my time at work will likely do both of these strong-willed girls some good. Noemi is ready to have her loving grandmothers care for her and I am ready to put on high heels and lipstick again. At least for 2 and a half days a week.

Last night as I was fixing Noemi’s bottle before bed I poured myself a glass of wine. She pointed to it sitting on the counter next to her bottle and said, “mmmmmmmm.” “Yes, baby,” I said “that is Noemi’s milk and that is Mommy’s milk—mmmmmmmm.” We have a mutual understanding of the good things in life--this girl cracks me up. I think we’ll be alight.